TEREZUM

Where is my breast examination?

I wonder why our society puts a high demand on children learning complicated trigonometry and the intricacies behind Balzac’s writings and nobody ever thought, at least in my country, to teach girls, for example, how to examine their breasts in order to detect any abnormality which might be a tumor. I was never taught how to do this and I excelled in other fields while participating at various literature competitions. Only last year, by accident, while randomly putting lotion on my chest I have felt something odd, hard, the size of a pea. It later on proved to be cancer.

As an employee we all know the procedures when it comes to the annual check up. Please correct me if I am wrong but in Romania I have no knowledge of a firm that offers female employees a standard breast examination at each annual medical visit. An ultrasound should become a norm. Prevention is key and when it comes to cancer time is so precious! I remember it took two months while I had to undergo several examinations until I was given the diagnosis and a scheme of treatment. If the lump wouldn’t have been located in the upper part of my breast…how would I have known that I have it? Perhaps only too late. This is the case of many women and men. Why we do not prioritize teaching healthcare in schools beyond the hotpodge of correct anatomy and chemistry equations that few teachers know how to present to pupils in a way that the latter falls in love with it?

I believe that the future of true medicine, focused on the well being of the individual while he or she is still in their strength, is a goal worth having. Yes I know that the big pharma makes so much more money on a diabetic patient who will pump insulin like crazy all of their lives but here I think that the giants miss a point: in order to progress on a human scale we need healthy individuals who thrive and love the work that they do. By building a money making machine society with fast food, toxic cosmetics, no prevention and plenty of air pollutant the giants shoot themselves in their foot on the long term. Surprise, you are stuck on Earth as well and when you go sick no amounts of money can save you unless you have served the Divine in everything that you have done. Google is filled with examples of the riches going to Heaven despite pumping massive money into innovative medicine to save themselves from terminal illnesses. So exploiting the masses to the core, leaving a vital sector of education untapped is harming everybody.

Education should not be about equations, PISA, expensive diplomas and elite jobs. Education should be about knowing and treasuring your body so much that you have a second thought before putting those chocolate doughnuts in your mouth on a daily basis. Teaching children to love their bodies and to know what is normal and what might raise suspicions is a vital skill that not so many focus on teaching in schools. Somehow I believe that the disastrous fruits of this kind of curriculum might change in the upcoming decades because there are not enough children being born in order to replace the adults that are getting sicker and sicker with(IN) this society.

04.02.2026

Learn by choice, not by force

Why is school and work (mostly) boring?

As I was listening to an interview of Oprah with Adam Grant in which they debate the impostor syndrome, I pause and think about the freedom of choice in our learning environments. We call them schools, but I look at a job as also being a possible learning space. Why is it so boring to go to school or university for most of us? If big names like Bill Gates and Elon Musk dropped out of school and achieved so much, why should we mortals even bother?

The problem that I have with schools is that they rely on a fixed curriculum and so do universities. One big pile of hard to digest fields in which somebody decided you ought to be competent or else….The issue with this is that it is a limited approach. I have found myself numerous times in this situation: I don’t want to read this and I am pissed that it is taking time from my life and from my desire to read something else. So the thirst for learning exists in most individuals but the system manages to destroy it by putting compulsory reading at the top of the priorities. Read this. Then we will test you from it and certify that you have obediently wasted your time with our literature. This is so wrong on so many levels. I find it more exciting to learn when I choose what I want to read based on my interest. Our energy is the most precious resource and we easily squander it in our youth with a plethora of must-read papers handed in by our teachers who have gone under the same treatment themselves.

I pondered about going to art school. I tested it. I have found myself caught in the same crippled system. Doing a bunch of drawings that the teachers want and reading what they want without any prior testing of what I am interested in. I find this method of teaching old and toxic. I really doubt that in 2100 our schools will even look the same as they do now. I strongly feel that the future of learning is the freedom of choice and the only interference should be a soft guiding one. We should test children to see what they like, not if they perform as we have set the bar. Early detection of what someone is particularly gifted at can save years of futile reading and studying, not to mention poor career choices. The paradox is that we expect the same elements of the system who have been going through the same loop to do this: our teachers. I remember one interview of Tony Robbins in which he said that he would rather go to someone who has run a successful company and learn about economics from them than from a teacher who has never had the experience of economics. I believe him and it makes sense. How can we expect from individuals who may not have their calling as a job, teachers, to test children and future adults for more than a standard accomplishment of an academic soup?

The real danger of the current way of learning in institutions dedicated to it is that it kills what could be a genuine love for studying. This is the real problem. A person who has lost the intention to learn anything at all, including things in which they used to find interest, is someone completely lost. Boredom and frustration set it. Reading the next book, drawing the next thing, assembling the future toy is a chore.

The student should have the freedom to tailor their own curriculum and their own readings. Give someone interested in mathematics to read poetry and you will suck life out of them. Give the same list of poetry to someone who loves it , ask them if they like it and you fuel them with life. Such is the power of the right activity. We should stop blaming children and adults because they are bored and not interested and we should ask ourselves why. Learning should be fun. Learning should be a choice. Learning should continue long after the individual has stepped out of the institution. Learning should be the extension of the soul wanting to bring forth the hidden gifts requiring manifestation. We should strive to instill a love for learning, not for grades or for achievement as learning is continual while grades and papers fade away leaving behind a crushed spirit.

08.02.2026

The Adam Grant interview:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcwY_TlHthI

The sound of cosmos

I remember reading in the memoirs of an astronaut his recollection of how space smelled: as burned matter. So as I can’t shuttle myself into one of Elon Musk’s spaceships and propel myself into space in order to confirm that I only have the option to trust someone who has been in space. The same trust you have in what you are reading now, knowing that there is a genuine real human being behind the words. With the rise of AI it begins to become a challenge to find human-written articles which ooze with feeling and sentience. I just randomly noticed the other day how Instagram is bursting with AI generated videos on pretty much any topic, human faces who seem so real until you watch the movement of the mouth which gives in the secret AI usage. Personally I believe that the current times require more human input , not less. And when it comes to writing I have found that AI really can’t replicate the intricacy of human thought written on (virtual) paper.

When I think of space I think of silence. I had a realization which might make you think differently about the world. I think that the real sound of the cosmos feels like a heartbeat. Think about it. Your own heart. The entire universe of what it means to be you is in this tiny organ. Beating incessantly for you since your conception. Tirelessly. Place your hand on your chest. Feel it. If you close your eyes you can hear it. The universe is an entire pulsating machinery. A giant heart. Beating constantly. Giving life to us and to everything in this vast cosmos. Entire planets and galaxies breathe in and out with life. Particles move constantly and shift their energy. Nothing is ever the same. Every second comes with a change. The same galactic movements happen in your body. Every single day. Every single second. Because few of us have developed a daily practice of observing ourselves beyond the normal day to day life we have become oblivious to this miracle. The heart. The space in which we exist. The vast world from which we are a part of. All united by a single heartbeat. Humanity pulsates with life in every corner of this planet as I write and as you read. This is huge. It makes you bow down in gratitude in front of forces way bigger than you imagine. What do you do consciously to make your heart beat for you? Nothing. How often do you appreciate this gift? Sit with this question today.

In the meanwhile I can close my eyes and imagine how it must feel to be outside in the vast space and hear its giant heartbeat. Feel the silence. Experience the grandiosity of this entire system in which we exist. In the vast space you are just a dot. But for God you shine just as bright as the brightest star. And this is something just beyond incredible.

18.02.2026

Please innovate public transportation

I definetely had a memorable experience that I will never forget yesterday, on the 3rd of march 2026. This experience made me really write and vlog about it as it made me realize something that our society has left behind and I believe that there is room for innovation if someone in a position of power would see the long term benefits of creating a society for people, not for consumerism and exploitation.

I started cycle two of taxanes and I came back from my chemotherapy weekly treatment. I take a tram which takes me to the train station and from there I take the train back home. It is a commute which I prefer as it saves money as I am quite far from the medical center and I would not want Uber to monopolize my wallet.

Everything went smoothly until I felt how my stomach feels a bit odd. And then all of us know that feeling of something ready to burst from the inside. Oh boy. I definetely did not need a loose motion moment during my tram trip. I was told that it is possible to have such a side effect but I never had issues until yesterday. I started to pray. And I prayed with sweat coming down my face. I started to panic. It was really strong and in my current situation it would not be okay to abstain from such a sensation. I started to breathe. Inhale. Keep it. Exhale slowly. I looked at the window. It was 4 p.m. Traffic. People coming back from work. I looked at the window again and made a plan: should I tell the driver to stop and to let me out and should I just rush into the first house or business place and ask to go to the toilet explaining my situation? What if nobody lets me in? What if a creep lets me in? It is dangerous to go like this inside some stranger’s place to drop a watery number two because you’ve just got bad side effects from chemo. All of these thoughts passed through my head in milliseconds, trying to evaluate the situation fast as it wasn’t your ordinary stomach issue. It is a situation which never happened to me. Here I was in a public transport vehicle, there was a panic brake button but what’s the point as what could I do: press it and get out and release myself in the streets? On that spot I realize how this transport is not different from that of pigs. In a truck loaded with animals , when the animal feels the urge to relieve themselves….where do they go? Nowhere, they just do it on the spot. On a tram we have windows and seats as humans need to sit down. Yet this basic need of a human being is being ignored blatantly. In case of emergency what do you do? Really? What do you do ? Defecate or pee like a pig in the middle of the tram or the bus?

I prayed. And sweat was coming out on my forehead. I finally reached the train station. I prepared my 0.5 euro toilet tax and rushed there like crazy. Oh boy. The rest is history and I was glad to have moist wet tissues with me in order to clean up the mess. I am honest and brutal and direct about describing my experience because I know it happened to so many women or men who never dared to tell such a story. As I took the train back home I reached the station. I went to a small shop we have in order to get some groceries. Guess what happens? I feel that sensation again. Oh boy. Again I reevaluate my situation. I am 30 minutes away from a foot walk to my apartment. I could try to squeeze it in but again it is a side effect from chemotherapy and it is such a different sensation than I have ever experienced. I succumb. I go to a woman working there and I tell her about my situation and ask her to let me use employer’s toilet. Yes. No toilets for the paying clients. Imagine. I walked out of there in utter amazement to what just happened to me and I started to get a vision for the article I am just writing right now. The heck with shame, taboo and embarrassment. I would love to see the person who passes laws when it comes to public transportation to share a similar experience and see their reflections on life post squeezing those butt cheeks.

We have to rethink public transportation because we are not transporting cattles or pigs, but humans who have human needs. What if a diabetic needs sugar in the middle of a crisis and he or she is in a bus? What if a child or a mother with a child needs a toilet? What if a pregnant woman feels nausea and has to vomit? How do we cater to those needs? I see future transportation like this: toilet, a vending machine with first aid medication and easy over the counter drugs which can come in handy in dire situation and a snack vending machine inside these metal boxes that we call public transport. People can have stuff happen to them while they commute or go to a simple ride. Cancer patients or people with disabilities use these trams and buses. Isn’t it funny how someone thought that there will be humans using airplanes and they better put inside the plane a toilet as nobody can go and release themselves into the sky but we have not thought of doing the same thing on land although there are the same human beings with bowel movements who use public transportation? Thanks God they have thought about it in trains but why not in trams, subways or buses? It baffles me and after my experience I realize that besides having windows, a seat to stay and a validating card box, there is nothing different between public transportation for humans versus for pigs. The association might seem brutal to you but please let me know how you are treated differently than a pig if you need to use the toilet while on a bus. Please let me know.

Okay now I can see how plenty of individuals might see the huge task of changing public transportation to cater to the needs of the people. But let me tell you that people are already near their breaking point. Stressed. Overagitated. And it is not their fault entirely. Society hasn’t evolved in the sense of catering to the needs of the people. We see fancy phones, crypto apps and contactless payments as signs of evolution, but again let’s return to how you are differently treated than a pig when number two comes your rear while you’re on a tram or a bus even if you travel only 2 stations. It should become a norm to have toilets in every bus, regardless of the duration of trip they are doing.

I have realized the amazing blessing behind my chemotherapy journey: I get to experience the way some marginalized categories of society feel. It is raw and vicious. I saw how it is to walk with a limp and barely walk. I saw how it is to have people stare at your face because it is filled with what seems like an acne explosion. I saw how it is to feel utterly sick from not being able to use a toilet and sweat and look at how people are not even noticing your distress. I saw how it is to look at a panic button and knowing that pressing it won’t do anything for you. Evolution? We are far from evolved if we still use simple metal boxes with windows to transport human beings which have more needs than to just sit and stare at a window.

04.03.2026