TEREZUM

I definetely had a memorable experience that I will never forget yesterday, on the 3rd of march 2026. This experience made me really write and vlog about it as it made me realize something that our society has left behind and I believe that there is room for innovation if someone in a position of power would see the long term benefits of creating a society for people, not for consumerism and exploitation.

I started cycle two of taxanes and I came back from my chemotherapy weekly treatment. I take a tram which takes me to the train station and from there I take the train back home. It is a commute which I prefer as it saves money as I am quite far from the medical center and I would not want Uber to monopolize my wallet.

Everything went smoothly until I felt how my stomach feels a bit odd. And then all of us know that feeling of something ready to burst from the inside. Oh boy. I definetely did not need a loose motion moment during my tram trip. I was told that it is possible to have such a side effect but I never had issues until yesterday. I started to pray. And I prayed with sweat coming down my face. I started to panic. It was really strong and in my current situation it would not be okay to abstain from such a sensation. I started to breathe. Inhale. Keep it. Exhale slowly. I looked at the window. It was 4 p.m. Traffic. People coming back from work. I looked at the window again and made a plan: should I tell the driver to stop and to let me out and should I just rush into the first house or business place and ask to go to the toilet explaining my situation? What if nobody lets me in? What if a creep lets me in? It is dangerous to go like this inside some stranger’s place to drop a watery number two because you’ve just got bad side effects from chemo. All of these thoughts passed through my head in milliseconds, trying to evaluate the situation fast as it wasn’t your ordinary stomach issue. It is a situation which never happened to me. Here I was in a public transport vehicle, there was a panic brake button but what’s the point as what could I do: press it and get out and release myself in the streets? On that spot I realize how this transport is not different from that of pigs. In a truck loaded with animals , when the animal feels the urge to relieve themselves….where do they go? Nowhere, they just do it on the spot. On a tram we have windows and seats as humans need to sit down. Yet this basic need of a human being is being ignored blatantly. In case of emergency what do you do? Really? What do you do ? Defecate or pee like a pig in the middle of the tram or the bus?

I prayed. And sweat was coming out on my forehead. I finally reached the train station. I prepared my 0.5 euro toilet tax and rushed there like crazy. Oh boy. The rest is history and I was glad to have moist wet tissues with me in order to clean up the mess. I am honest and brutal and direct about describing my experience because I know it happened to so many women or men who never dared to tell such a story. As I took the train back home I reached the station. I went to a small shop we have in order to get some groceries. Guess what happens? I feel that sensation again. Oh boy. Again I reevaluate my situation. I am 30 minutes away from a foot walk to my apartment. I could try to squeeze it in but again it is a side effect from chemotherapy and it is such a different sensation than I have ever experienced. I succumb. I go to a woman working there and I tell her about my situation and ask her to let me use employer’s toilet. Yes. No toilets for the paying clients. Imagine. I walked out of there in utter amazement to what just happened to me and I started to get a vision for the article I am just writing right now. The heck with shame, taboo and embarrassment. I would love to see the person who passes laws when it comes to public transportation to share a similar experience and see their reflections on life post squeezing those butt cheeks.

We have to rethink public transportation because we are not transporting cattles or pigs, but humans who have human needs. What if a diabetic needs sugar in the middle of a crisis and he or she is in a bus? What if a child or a mother with a child needs a toilet? What if a pregnant woman feels nausea and has to vomit? How do we cater to those needs? I see future transportation like this: toilet, a vending machine with first aid medication and easy over the counter drugs which can come in handy in dire situation and a snack vending machine inside these metal boxes that we call public transport. People can have stuff happen to them while they commute or go to a simple ride. Cancer patients or people with disabilities use these trams and buses. Isn’t it funny how someone thought that there will be humans using airplanes and they better put inside the plane a toilet as nobody can go and release themselves into the sky but we have not thought of doing the same thing on land although there are the same human beings with bowel movements who use public transportation? Thanks God they have thought about it in trains but why not in trams, subways or buses? It baffles me and after my experience I realize that besides having windows, a seat to stay and a validating card box, there is nothing different between public transportation for humans versus for pigs. The association might seem brutal to you but please let me know how you are treated differently than a pig if you need to use the toilet while on a bus. Please let me know.

Okay now I can see how plenty of individuals might see the huge task of changing public transportation to cater to the needs of the people. But let me tell you that people are already near their breaking point. Stressed. Overagitated. And it is not their fault entirely. Society hasn’t evolved in the sense of catering to the needs of the people. We see fancy phones, crypto apps and contactless payments as signs of evolution, but again let’s return to how you are differently treated than a pig when number two comes your rear while you’re on a tram or a bus even if you travel only 2 stations. It should become a norm to have toilets in every bus, regardless of the duration of trip they are doing.

I have realized the amazing blessing behind my chemotherapy journey: I get to experience the way some marginalized categories of society feel. It is raw and vicious. I saw how it is to walk with a limp and barely walk. I saw how it is to have people stare at your face because it is filled with what seems like an acne explosion. I saw how it is to feel utterly sick from not being able to use a toilet and sweat and look at how people are not even noticing your distress. I saw how it is to look at a panic button and knowing that pressing it won’t do anything for you. Evolution? We are far from evolved if we still use simple metal boxes with windows to transport human beings which have more needs than to just sit and stare at a window.